I’m sorry I’m not who you want me to be

This was going to be a very different post originally…but it’s morphed a bit due to the fact that my view on how I’ve seen events over the last few months has changed. So the draft that was a few weeks ago is very different to the post that’s published here.

I’m sorry I’m not who you want me to be.

I’m sorry that my opinionated sass annoys you and that the things I say or do get under your skin. I can’t help but say the things I think and feel any more than you can help breathing.

I’m sorry that I argue, but I’m passionate about the things I believe in – this doesn’t lessen your beliefs in any way and I’m sorry if you felt that it did.

I’m sorry that I interrupt when you talk, sometimes I can’t help it because my mind is moving a 3000kph and my mouth is just trying to keep up. I promise it’s not because I’m being rude or think what you have to say is unimportant.

I’m sorry that you think I’m wrong or that my opinions don’t matter because they differ from yours, just because we don’t agree on something doesn’t mean there isn’t still a connection. I don’t agree with a lot of things my friends have opinions on, that doesn’t make them any less my friend.

I’m sorry my obsessions mean that I get distracted and don’t automatically put you first. I can’t help the fact that sometimes I need to put *me* first.

I’m sorry that I don’t fit your stereotype of what a “geek” should be or what a “nerd” should be and you see me as being fake. If I tried to “fit” into the stereotypes of what I should be, I’d be pulled in every direction.

I’m sorry that I’ve worked hard to get what I want and that makes you envious. You don’t see the years I spent studying or the years that I ate vegemite on toast for dinner every night because we couldn’t afford to buy meat or vegetables, you only see the fancy toys I buy now and the fact that I can afford to eat out when I choose – but I worked *HARD* for that luxury and still do.

I’m sorry you think my job is “cushy” or that I don’t strain myself. My brain is working from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep – I’m constantly thinking of work even when I try and turn it off and my brain gets oh-so-tired.

I’m sorry you think I’m fat. I’m working hard on changing who I am to be a better me for me

1 thought on “I’m sorry I’m not who you want me to be

  1. Carol

    Oh dear, the interrupting – yes I do that all the time. I know people hate it but I’ve given up trying to control it – I’m mid-40’s now, it’s not going to change. I’ve started paying a bit more attention though and have noticed every single person who has said to me “Will.You.Let.Me.FINISH” also interrupts me and others from time to time – so fuck ’em.


Leave a Reply